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David D Burns, author of Feeling Good, suggests you must learn to retort to your inner critical self, which creates circuits of reaction in the brain. Anxiety arises from lack of self-worth, low personal esteem which suspects your capabilities in handling a situation. Most importantly, chronic anxiety can be a result of a highly distorted viewpoint about the world’s lurking dangers (paranoia) and one’s weaknesses (causing depression). Anxiety creates a static that shuts out your rational mind.
Burns gives examples of thought habits. ‘If someone criticises me, there must be some truth in it’. ‘What I am depends on how much I achieve.’ ‘If I slacken a bit, I have failed completely’. Initially, all these seem like worthy assessments by someone constantly involved with personal growth. But actually, warns Burns, they are anxiety traps. He suggests we start listening to our inner critic and talk back firmly. When trapped in a situation creating negativity, create two columns (either in the mind or on paper). In the first column jot down your initial emotional reactions. In the next, argue back.
Like the following technique, called flooding, this splits the reactivity of the ancient brain and the rationality of the modern one, powering the latter to rescue you from the morass of anxiety.
Also called contextual conditioning, flooding involves slowly habituating yourself to the fearful situation. John Ratey’s book A User’s Guide to the Brain explains when a person has a snake phobia, she is first made to visualise the least fearful aspect of the object of fear – such as the elaborate design on the snake skin. Next meditation and relaxation techniques are practiced to realign the body towards the fear, so the symptoms of anxiety recede. Finally, the person actually experiences (by holding or getting close to) the object of fear. Obviously, such slow weaning needs expert advice.
But self-help would also help. For example, fear of public speaking can be trounced by joining workshops where it is easier to shed the lock-jaw of inhibitions since everybody else may be in the same boat. Regular practice visualising yourself doing this (neurolinguistic programming) or talking in front of the mirror (before your worst audience, which is yourself) can unshackle the chains of fear.

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On Monday March 17, in victorious celebration of the fifth anniversary of the “three-week cakewalk” attack he masterminded and cheered for, Vice President Cheney bravely visited the rubbled residue of what was once the thriving city of Baghdad.

The trip was made in secret, because advance announcement was thought to be “too dangerous”. Reporters were ordered not to report Cheney’s schedule or location until after his departure.

Cheney arrived via Britain’s Mildenhall Royal Air Force Base, making the flight to Baghdad while safely encased within a heavily armored stainless steel Airstream executive travel trailer cabin securely strapped in the hold of a C-17 military cargo plane.

The specially constructed travel trailer was delivered to Al Anbar, or Baghdad International Airport. The ten-mile trip to the “heavily fortified” 4 square-mile Green Zone was made by military helicopter, with the fearless Cheney wearing a helmet and body armor. The flight was escorted by a large number of helicopter gunships. Additional gunships circled over downtown Baghdad.

Cheney spent almost all his time in Baghdad within the Green Zone, where he was briefed on “progress”. However, on Monday evening, Cheney daringly ventured about one mile outside the Green Zone, for an extremely important meeting with Iraqi President Jalal Talabani.

Cheney made that short trip in a convoy of armored Humvees with darkened windows. The convoy was protected by additional armored military vehicles, manned by gunners and equipped with bomb-detectors. Helicopter gunships circling overhead provided additional protection. Hundreds of heavily armed soldiers stood guard along streets that had previously been swept for explosive devices. Streets along the route were closed and protected by concrete barriers and rolls of concertina wire.

The reason for this dangerous foray outside the Green Zone? The current crude oil differential between the $1.50 per-barrel cost of production and the $117 per-barrel value on spot markets. Cheney made this dangerous expedition to urge Iraqi leaders to quickly approve a law that will allow American oil companies to take over Iraqi national resources for their private gain. As a result, Iraq will be stripped of the ability to pay the multi-billion dollar costs of reconstructing the destruction America inflicted and now refuses to pay to rebuild.

Cheney’s presence was quickly followed by that of John McCain, whose trip was also undertaken in secret, for briefings on gains in security in the country.

Those “gains” were affirmed by comparisons with a similar trip by McCain a year earlier, when he purchased a rug in an open market near the Green Zone.

A year ago, news photographers took pics of McCain as he proclaimed by personal demonstration that Americans could “walk freely” around Baghdad.

Those photographers were ordered to only take close-up shots, so as not to show that McCain was protected by about 100 heavily armed American soldiers, three Blackhawk helicopters and two Apache gunships.

This year, McCain wasn’t allowed to visit the market, because of “markedly deteriorated security conditions”. The market is now controlled by Muqtada al-Sadr’s Mahdi militia.

American-supported Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Miliki is similarly protected. While venturing to headquarters of the Dawa party, located one-half mile outside the Green Zone, Maliki customarily travels along streets cleared of all people by soldiers waving guns in the air. Maliki rides in one of six identical bullet-proof vehicles with blackened windows, protected fore and aft by American Humvees, all led by four black armored cars, each with three machine gunners projecting from roofs.

Similar security concerns affect operations at the American embassy in the Green Zone. But constructive solutions to lessen violence are not being sought. Instead, increased levels of protection against escalating levels of violence are being sought.

Embassy employees had been sleeping in trailers protected by walls of sandbags.

No more. That is now forbidden. Employees are now required to sleep in blast-resistant structures. All embassy personnel are required to remain under hard cover at all times, except for “mission essential” reasons. Outside activities undertaken for those essential reasons must be sharply limited in duration.

Personnel have been ordered not to leave reinforced buildings unless absolutely necessary. On those occasions, employees are required to wear body armor, helmets, protective eyewear and other protective gear.

Long-term, the State Department has a better plan. Saddam Hussein’s palace will be vacated. Despite hundreds of construction defects, the department recently accepted construction of the “hardened” embassy compound.

This 27-building complex, constructed on 104 acres by a Kuwaiti contractor using slave labor imported from the Philippines at a cost of $736 million, including $144 million in change orders, is “heavily fortified” and will, according to Ambassador Ryan Crocker, provide ” some added protection”.

Added protection is undoubtedly necessary and prudent. In the three weeks following Cheney’s heavily protected visit, four Americans died in shellings of the Green Zone. At least 14 non-Americans have also been killed there, and at least 17 American soldiers were wounded. Helicopters, military vehicles and buildings have been destroyed.

A spokesperson for the State Department, America’s bastion of truthfulness, commented on reports of rocket attacks:

“I’m not aware of any.”

During his visit, Cheney reacted in his uniquely delusional fashion, by expressing admiration for the “phenomenal” improvements in security. He expressed a number of other similarly delusional conclusions during his visit:

… “great progress” has been made in both security and governance…

“… significant progress in the last ten months…”

The invasion five years ago and efforts to install “democracy and stabilize Iraq” … was a “successful endeavor”.

There we have it. According to Cheney, the five-year goal of bringing freedom and democracy to Iraq has been accomplished. Personal safety, and such basics as food, electricity and drinkable water be damned.

As these insane pronouncements were uttered, explosions occurred. In Kerbala, a female suicide bomber killed fifty people and wounded dozens more. Near the Green Zone, bombs killed four people and injured thirteen.

Cheney deceitfully implied these isolated, last-throes dead-ender attacks were carried out by people associated with al-Qaeda:

“… it is pretty clear that there was a link…” between al-Qaeda and Saddam Hussein before the invasion.

Three days later, the Pentagon issued a report stating there is absolutely no proof whatsoever of any significant operational link between al-Qaeda and Hussein, who actually were bitter enemies. This latest report confirmed conclusions contained in dozens of previous studies made over the past five years.

General Petraeus begged to differ as to the cause of the violence. He proclaimed “… Iranian-provided, Iranian-made” rockets were being used to attack the Green Zone. They were launched by groups trained and funded by the Quds Force of Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps.

Apparently Petraeus views these attacks as yet another indication of America’s “phenomenal progress”. During congressional hearings, General Petraeus informed Senator Lugar:

“We have our teeth into the jugular…”

Whoever the enemy of American-style Iraqi freedom and democracy is, Cheney ignored all traces of reality and vowed to press ahead:

“I think… it’s very, very important that we succeed.”

… US forces will not quit before the job is done…”

“… our objective here is victory…”

The terms “succeed”, “job” and “victory” were not defined. These terms have never been rationally defined, either by Cheney or by anyone else in a position of authority in Washington. All we know for certain is that these terms don’t refer to bringing genuine freedom and democracy to the long-suffering people of Iraq.

Perhaps the “job”, after five years of war, at a cost of over 4,000 American soldiers killed, tens of thousands wounded and $500 billion dollars, is securing the Green Zone, where American personnel will continue to be viewed as enemies and hated by the people of Iraq.

Perhaps “victory” means stealing Iraqi national resources by American oil companies.

Perhaps “success” is the term for America’s destruction of the infrastructure of Iraq, with the deaths of hundreds of thousands and displacement of millions more.

Or perhaps that term “success” refers to the bankruptcy of America, the destruction of its middle class and loss of trust worldwide.

Sane and rational Americans need to understand what the insane and delusional Vice President cannot understand or accept:

America has decisively and conclusively lost the gratuitously waged war against Iraq. After five years of efforts so costly in blood in money, there is no other sane and rational explanation for America’s inability to even secure its embassy against attacks that occur almost daily.

America is the loser.

The winner?

Iran, the self-proclaimed enemy of America. Iran, whose President Ahmadinejad recently traveled from the airport to downtown Baghdad without special security precautions to conduct what Iraqi Prime Minister called “friendly, positive and full of trust” talks.

Almadinejad’s sane, rational and absolutely correct explanation for this glaring contrast:

“I am welcome in Iraq. The Americans are not.”

azchuck

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If the article http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=ay5LDbjbjy6c by Martin Braun and William Selway published by Bloomberg is a valid indication, no American citizen is safe from intentional government-sanctioned financial destruction.

Everyone should assume all major investment banks are intentional players in sophisticated scams that epitomize American-style predatory capitalism, and that smaller local banks have been fleeced. Logic dictates smaller banks have been successfully targeted for infestation with financial weapons of mass destruction early on. They present plumper pickings as compared to leaner small school districts in poor communities in Pennsylvania.

Logic also dictates that credit unions, 401K plans, corporate pension plans and even money-market funds all have been infested and are at risk of major loss of value.

Bluntly, no one is safe from America’s government-sanctioned financial terrorists.

One form of deadly infestation is called an interest-rate swap, the most prevalent form of financial derivative, by which two parties agree to swap payments for as long as 30 years. One party agrees to pay a fixed interest rate. The other party agrees to pay a variable rate.

Derivatives have been glowingly hailed as an improvement to the financial markets as a way to “reduce risk”. As Alan Greenspan, then Chairman of the Federal Reserve explained in a 1998 speech to the Securities Industries Association:

“All the new financial products… financial derivatives being in the forefront… contribute economic value by unbundling risks and reallocating them in a highly calibrated manner.”

Meaning savvy sharks and predators could greedily keep the opportunities for gain to themselves while “unbundling” the contra-party risks of loss by foisting them onto unsuspecting citizens who strive diligently to improve their communities but lack specialized financial acumen found only on Wall Street.

Trusting, well-intentioned citizens who are intentionally and disdainfully played for saps and suckers, with government support.

The Sickening Case of Erie, Pennsylvania

Erie, Pennsylvania is a 100,000-population city with a long-decimated manufacturing base and a population that’s declined by 30 percent since 1970. Widespread poverty is starkly reflected by a single statistic: About 76 percent of school students are eligible for free or reduced-price lunches.

In 2001 the Erie school system prepared to make urgently need repairs to deteriorating buildings, including Roosevelt Middle School. The school board issued $38.7 million in bonds that were locked into a fixed interest rate for the next 10 years.

By 2003, the Erie school system desperately needed money for operating costs and purchase of new textbooks. The school board determined residents couldn’t afford a tax increase.

Within a few days of enactment of a new state law, JPMorgan Chase and Co. “came to Erie’s rescue”. In September 2003 the school board was told all they had to do was “sign some papers” and they would benefit at some time in the future, if interest rates increased.

Meaning JPMorgan Chase purchased the right to force Erie schools to make good on an interest rate swap if rates instead declined, at any time before 2029.

The board “signed some papers” and was paid $785,000. The board wasn’t told the obligation they sold for $785,000 was actually worth about $2 million, or that JPMorgan Chase’s profit on the deal would be over $1 million.

Perversely, interest rates declined. In July 2006 the already cash-strapped Erie school board paid $2.9 million to JPMorgan Chase to get out of the deal.

As a school board member who works as sales manager for a machine shop explained:

“We were desperate for money.”

He later described the result of that desperation more succinctly:

“It’s like we got raped.”

And Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

The experience of Bethlehem, a former steel town of 72,000 people, was similar. In April 2005 the Bethlehem school board was told they could generate over $11 million over the next 25 years while protecting interest rate moves on two prior bond issues.

The board signed on, sold eight interest-rate swaps, and to date has received about $900,000.

Not nearly as much as the transaction fees generated for the parties involved. Those fees for one deal totaled about $3 million, including $900,000 for JPMorgan Chase and $840,000 for the brokerage firm Morgan Stanley.

A sales firm that acted as advisor and a financial advisory firm were each paid $630,000. In total, the sales firm has been paid $1.6 million and the advisory firm has been paid $1.3 million by the Bethlehem school system. JPMorgan Chase and Morgan Stanley have split $5 million.

All for helping the Bethlehem school system solve their financial difficulties. The $7.9 million total is slightly more than $500 per student.

And Many Other Pennsylvania School Systems

Since Erie signed on, at least 500 similar deals totaling about $12 billion have been proposed to municipalities and school systems in Pennsylvania. Almost all these proposals were privately negotiated, without public bidding, apparently based on representations made by banks and financial advisors that competitive bids were not required, were not desirable and would not be in government agency’s interests.

Cash-poor local school districts and municipal government agencies in struggling communities can’t afford to hire on-staff, genuinely unbiased experts who understand complex financial derivatives. Even most financial derivatives salesmen with multi-million dollar annual incomes don’t fully understand the products they’re selling.

As a result, Erie school board members weren’t able to know whether they were getting a good deal or were getting fleeced by Wall Street and New York bankers. All they knew was that the payments would help balance their severely strained operating budget.

As the Erie schools superintendent explained:

“We’re always at the mercy of the experts that advise us…”

Failure of SEC Regulation

The Securities and Exchange Commission doesn’t have authority to regulate derivatives but does have responsibility to regulate the banks that create derivatives.

Christopher Cox, chairman of the SEC, says:

“I am concerned that municipalities are taking on more risk…”

“It’s a serious issue…”

The SEC does have authority to regulate how banks do business. Apparently the SEC views this type of institutionalized scam mounted against unsophisticated local citizens who serve on local school boards without pay to be an acceptable business practice not deserving of regulation. An issue that’s apparently not so serious after all.

Complicity by the Federal Reserve

These types of sickening results were clearly foreseeable and could have been prevented by the Federal Reserve. Instead, Chairman Alan Greenspan encouraged and worked to ensure a complete lack of regulation:

“The consequences of innovative financial engineering doubtless has been a far more efficient financial system.”

“… regulation is going increasingly to have to rely on private counter-party surveillance to achieve safety and soundness.”

Bluntly, Greenspan actively worked to assure the foxes would be put in charge of guarding the hen houses. He urged and actively supported the banks in developing new opportunities to fleece trusting but financially naive American citizens.

Independent Financial Advisors

The possibility that school boards would be taken advantage of was anticipated by the Pennsylvania legislature. This is why the state law requires municipalities to retain “independent financial advisors” when entering into an interest-rate swap.

The Erie school board did retain an “independent financial advisor”. On the basis of a recommendation by JPMorgan Chase, the seller of the swap. The board wasn’t informed that the advisory firm’s founder had contributed $469,400 to politicians while urging passage of the enabling law

The case of Erie is typical. “Independent financial advisors” are retained based on recommendations by the banks and are paid by the banks.

On a contingent basis. The advisors only get paid if the deals close. This alone utterly destroys all semblance of impartiality. In earlier times, when rational standards of common decency prevailed in American society, this would have unanimously been considered to be highly unethical and grounds for lifetime revocation of professional licenses.

Today, ethics and morality have been cast aside and replaced with predatory attitudes of permissiveness. As SEC Chairman Cox explains:

“.. all financial firms should tell clients their fees…”

Should, as in voluntary. For good measure, Cox added:

“… to the extent they are regulated by the SEC, they must.”

This from the man who heads the federal agency that possesses authority but steadfastly refuses to accept responsibility for regulating.

Instead, Cox has self-righteously placed blame on the victims:

“… school district officials have a responsibility… to ensure their advisors are actually independent…”

“.. there is an obligation to get good independent advice…”

Bluntly, non-knowledgeable, unpaid school board members have obligations. Highly knowledgeable, highly paid bankers have no obligations except to grow rich at the expense of American taxpayers.

Back to Erie

In Erie, the school board did ask the JPMorgan Chase representative how much his bank would make in fees. The answer:

“I can’t quantify that for you.”

In the Erie case, the advisor wrote a two-page opinion letter concluding the deal was “fair”. The letter didn’t disclose which party was being treated “fairly” or how much JPMorgan Chase’s fees would be.

For it’s two-page letter, the financial advisor was paid $60,000. A bond insurer was paid $57,585 and lawyers and other participants split $106,000, presumably in fair and equitable fashion.

JPMorgan Chase kept about $1 million for itself and justified the transaction by noting:

“…the swaps were vetted by independent financial advisors…”

Enabling Legislation

This scam was made possible by a Pennsylvania law enacted in 2003 that expressly gives local government agencies, including school districts, authority to purchase interest-rate swaps.

The selling point for this overwhelming endorsement was less than candidly explained by a lobbyist:

“There could be huge cost savings for many of the local governments.”

Lobbying by financial advisory firms who would profit by advising municipal clients might possibly have influenced the vote. Those firms included a lobbyist representing bond underwriters who contributed $141,245 in the prior three years and then claimed:

“The donations weren’t tied to the legislation.”

The founder of another lobbying firm made political contributions totaling $469,400. His firm was later retained by the Erie school board as its “independent financial advisor”. On the basis of a recommendation by JPMorgan Chase.

In short, the law was passed as a result of heavy lobbying for several years by financial advisory firms. Lobbying for passage was very intense.

And very non-partisan and very successful. The law was passed by votes of 197-0 in the House and 45-0 in the Senate.

Back to Erie

The law has proven good for financial firms but not for school districts. The cash-strapped Erie school system received $785,000 for the contract they sold in 2003 and bought their way out of for $2.9 million in 2006. They lost over $2 million to financial hucksters while government stood down and did nothing.

Astute readers might wonder how the cash-strapped Erie school board generated $2.9 million to buy its way out of the deal. The partial answer:

By selling two new interest-rate swaps. Activities eerily similar to those of up-against-the-wall consumers who attempt to delay their financial collapse by borrowing from an instant-cash payday loan operator.

Roosevelt Middle School was closed in 2007 because of lack of funds to repair massive physical deficiencies. Students now meet in temporary space leased from a church.

A Nationwide Scam

Similar laws empowering local government agencies and local school systems to deal in financial derivatives they don’t understand have been enacted in 39 other states. Everywhere, local boards of concerned local citizens who sincerely work to make their communities better places to live under some semblance of social justice are at similarly massive disadvantage. Meaning, the sickening experiences of Erie and Bethlehem are being replicated nationwide. And all the while, the government that’s supposed to protect its citizens from danger both foreign and domestic stands aside and does nothing.

Required Enabling Legislation

Citizens of Pennsylvania and 39 other states must strive to clean their Statehouses of every incumbent who voted for this type of enabling legislation.

And elect new legislators who will pass new enabling legislation that will allow their Attorneys General and Secretaries of State to protect the citizens.

As in Massachusetts, where government agencies are only allowed to purchase Triple-A rated bonds. Merrill Lynch ignored that law and sold the City of Springfield a collateralized debt obligation for $13.9 million. Less than one year later, the value of that CDO was $1.2 million, representing a loss of over 90 percent.

The Massachusetts Secretary of State courageously charged Merrill Lynch with fraud and misrepresentation. Merrill Lynch quietly settled out of court by paying Springfield their full purchase amount.

JPMorgan Chase and Jamie Dimon

As to JPMorgan Chase, America’s third-largest financial firm:

Net income in 2007 totaled $15.4 billion.

That number would have been even higher, but the company increased provisions for losses from sub-prime mortgages and leveraged buy-out loans by $2.54 billion. Perhaps the predators got played for saps and suckers by more savvy predators over at Goldman Sachs Group.

As to Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan Chase’s Chairman and CEO:

His 2005 income was $22 million. In 2006 his income increased to $27 million, including a $1 million salary, a $13 million cash bonus and stock options valued at $13 million.

Dimon also enjoyed perks, including personal use of the corporate jet valued at $375,000 and personal use of corporate cars valued at $111,000.

Indicating Dimon is frugal by nature. This indication is supported by his rationing of his daughter’s bath towels to save on laundry expenses and his cancellation of corporate cell phone accounts and Wall Street Journal subscriptions for his employees to save on operating expenses.

Mr. Dimon is a typical example of parasitic elites who live high at other people’s expense when times are good. And frantically lobby for their firms to be propped up and saved by the Federal Reserve when times turn bad, because of the excesses they furthered. The bills for the bailouts they urgently demand will be paid, to the tune of many billions of dollars, by the taxpayers they fleeced.

Recognize The Terrorist Enemies

Meanwhile, President Bush urges patriotic Americans to wave flags and support the troops in their government’s quest to destroy the mythical terrorist gang al Qaida in their caves in Bora Bora, Afghanistan.

While far more dangerous gangs of terrorists, sanctioned and supported by that same government, maraud throughout America from their caves in the shadows of Wall Street.

Of the two, as clearly demonstrated in Erie and Bethlehem, the financial terrorists that government actively supports are much more dangerous to the safety and well-being of the nation.

Concerned citizens should carefully note the Pennsylvania enabling statute passed unanimously in both House and Senate. Living proof that partisanship takes a back seat to money, perks and favors sagely doled out by lobbyists.

Another proof legislatures aren’t friends and supporters of the citizens they are elected to serve.

As President Bush famously proclaimed:

“You’re either with us or you’re against us.”

Restated:

“If you’re not for us, then you are against us.”

Citizens must take that statement to heart and realize their elected legislatures don’t act in the best interests of the citizens. Instead, elected legislatures act in the best interests of themselves, the public be damned.

President Bush’s determination clearly applies. Elected legislatures have demonstrated themselves to be enemies of the citizens and should be dealt with accordingly.

The same applies to the major banks. They are not in business to serve the needs of the citizens or their nation. They are in business to serve their greedy, selfish desire for maximum profit, achieved by unfairly taking advantage, the public be damned.

Again, President Bush’s determination clearly applies. The major banks have demonstrated themselves to be enemies of the people and should be dealt with accordingly.

And Destroy The Terrorist Enemies

True America patriots must learn to distinguish between friend and foe and follow the ancient adage:

“Support your friends. Destroy your enemies.”

True American patriots could better support and defend their country from its domestic enemies and enhance its long-term future by uniting in support and facilitating the destruction of the catalysts of the financial cancer that’s destroying their country.

JPMorgan Chase?

Citigroup?

Merrill Lynch?

Morgan Stanley?

Let them die.

Even better, actively support their destruction. I suggest true patriots support the death of these traitorous firms. Let the Chinese government’s investment institutions pick over the rotting bones. At least the Chinese can be counted on to take a long-term view and work to build a viable economy.

Patriots should use cash to the greatest possible extent, satisfy and terminate credit cards and all other forms of credit as best possible, and remove hard-earned savings deposits from all financial institutions.

The proceeds should be invested in physical forms of gold and silver.

Be sure to pay cash and not leave a paper trail.

Chuck Simpson

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Back in January, we decided to try to find the Greatest Animal in the History of Video Games.

Each month, we listed as many animals as we could think of for each species. Then we had a stellar panel of judges, as well as readers, choose the winner for each category.

After rounding up lists of horses, canines, aquatic creatures, birds, reptiles/amphibians, felines, monkeys/apes, we feel we’ve exhausted every species worthy of their own post.

So here’s the best of the rest including notable hedgehogs, foxes, bears, rabbits and even some random insects…

Charmy Bee from the “Sonic the Hedgehog” series
The cute, cheerful and child-like Charmy helps Sonic’s Chaotix team by finding hidden objects.

Espio the Chameleon from the “Sonic the Hedgehog” series
A member of Sonic’s Chaotix team, Espio can turn his body transparent for stealth and is also an expert ninja.

Mighty the Armadillo from the “Sonic the Hedgehog” series
Friend of Knuckles, Mighty is an armadillo who abhors violence and only fights when there is no other choice.

The Ants and Spiders in “Earth Defense Force 2017″
The persisent ant- and spider-like aliens in “EDF 2017″ had power in numbers. The best part about them was the unrealistic physics; blow them up with a bazooka and their corpses roll around like knocked-down bowling pins.

Banjo
The bear co-star of the “Banjo-Kazooie” games, Banjo often carries around his partner Kazooie, a Red Crested Breegull, in his backpack during their platforming adventures.

Conker the Squirrel
Don’t be fooled by his cuteness: the star of “Conkers Bad Fur Day” and its remake “Live & Reloaded” is a foul-mouthed squirrel with a penchant for alcohol and excessive violence.

Crash Bandicoot
A bandicoot is a terrestrial marsupial, and Crash is probably the most famous one of all, starring in his own series of platformer games since 1996.

Daxter from the “Jak & Daxter” series
Daxter was a boy transformed into an ottsel, a combination of an otter and a weasel, and is the loud-mouthed best friend of mute protagonist Jak. While he helps Jak throughout the series, he’s only the primary playable character in his eponymous PSP game.

Fox McCloud from the “Star Fox” series
Controlling an expert Arwing pilot and leader of the Star Fox team, players would take the role of Fox McCloud in order save the Lylat system from impending doom.

Sly Cooper
An anthropomorphic raccoon, Sly and his team of thieves band together to fight a robotic owl and a mandrill mad scientist all while avoiding the clutches of Interpol agent Carmelita Fox.

Murray Hippo from the “Sly Cooper” series
Murray Hippo feeds into the hungry hippo stereotype while serving as Sly’s good-natured getaway driver and all-around tough guy.

Sonic the Hedgehog
The legendary blue-coiffed hedgehog first ran his way into gamers’ hearts in a platform adventure game on the Sega Genesis. Since then he’s expanded into comics, TV shows and a slew of other games, and has become one of the world’s most recognized game characters alongside Mario and Link.

Max from “Sam & Max”
A “hyperkinetic rabbity thing,” Max is partner to dog detective Sam. The two are private investigators who travel the world solving mysteries in their now-episodic adventure games.

Raving Rabbids
Anthropomorphic rabbit-type creatures, raving rabbids are maniacal critters who can be seen terrorizing lead character Rayman in the recent “Rayman Raving Rabbids” series of games.

Rambi the Rhino from “Donkey Kong Country”
Doing what rhinos do best, Rambi can ram its way through walls to unlock secret doors.

The Fudgehog from “Viva Pinata”
Okay, there are many animals in “Viva Pinata” but one of our favorites is the Fudgehog, a hedgehog-like pinata who feeds on Whirlms.

Any rat in any RPG
Can’t we have an entry for the prototypical role-playing-game rat? This rat lives in the sewers of dozens of RPGs, waiting to be killed in your first quest as a hero. The question isn’t “Which RPG is this rat in?” It’s “Which RPG is this rat not in?” The rodent has had more appearances in video games than Super Mario.

Readers, we know there are plenty more animals (including various Pokemon and “Animal Crossing” creatures). Write in your favorites for the judges’ consideration, then check back later this month for the winner of the miscellaneous category.

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Shockingly, we celebrated our anniversary a week early this year. Calm down — it’s because I’m headed to New Orleans for work (ie: sweltering August heat and humidity). Cue sympathy tears and enraged outcries.

Most of our prior anniversaries involved one of the following elements:

a) moving
b) sweat (ew, not like that — August heat, duh!)
c) arguments (due to items a and b)
d) tardy Hallmark cards and apologies about the lameness of our celebrating

I’m not complaining, though, because I don’t need a stupid card or dinner one day a year to celebrate my marriage to the most amazing husband on the planet. (Take that ANNIVERSARY!)

On the other hand, I could get used to an annual Anniversary getaway (hint, hint, Chris). We headed to Virginia Beach (mostly because we wanted sun and another dose of this awesome restaurant). Though we weren’t on the beach, the Westin is 100 percent less cheesy than the cheestastic hotels by the water. We even ventured out to a less-populated beach and had a super relaxing day. Oh, and we saw DOLPHINS! One popped out of the water 10 feet away from where Chris was boogie boarding.
Loved the giant Westin bed!

If that’s not the face of a happily married man, it’s the face of a happily married man in a super comfy Westin bed watching The Jerk.

I pulled out my Wicked dress and gold shoes from the archives and remembered all over again why I bought it in the first place.
Awww…still making kissy faces after six years!
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My mom nonchalantly suggested a tire iron as the most obvious solution to a “little” problem we encountered traveling through Utah three years ago.

This particular drive felt like our millionth six-hour trek to Colorado. We memorized the extended stretches of two-lane highway snaking through the barren, red-dirt desert. We (usually) refrained from swearing at drivers blinding us with their brights and we (often) resisted the urge to flip off maniac minivans tempting fate by passing five cars in the face of a speeding semi.

We actually looked forward to these road trips, so we could blast Cake (must-have travel tunes) and sing at the top of our lungs, discuss the future of the world and our plan to conquer it, get hyper (okay, maybe just me) and drive each other bananas, make memorable emergency stops at small-town gas stations (a story for another day).

So there we were – rocking out, intellectualizing, giggli—-

Suddenly our headlights illuminated the tip of an antler. Chris slammed on the brakes (frantically glancing between the road and rearview mirror to make sure no cars would smash into us), but the deer leaped forward. In a split second it was in the middle of our lane. Our tires left thick black stripes on the pavement as Chris pounded the brakes. The deer was within inches of clearing our path when it collided with the right corner of the hood.

We were finally able to stop 50 yards later.

Warm tears misted my eyes as a panicked whisper escaped my lips, “What do we do?”

Chris somberly opened his door and backtracked to the scene of the collision. I tried to follow, but my door was crumpled shut from the impact.

After 10 tense minutes, Chris returned.

“I don’t think it was killed.”

”Did you see it?” I pictured a mangled Bambi drenched in ketchup.

“Part of its pelt is stuck in the crack by the hood. It probably broke a leg, but it got away.”

After a quick check to make sure the car was drivable, we turned back onto the highway. When we pulled into the closest town – about 30 minutes away – we called the state patrol to alert them about the injured animal and approximate location of the crash.

Then we called my parents.

“What are you supposed to do when that happens? We didn’t want it to suffer.”

My dad offered comfort, reassuring us that we did the right thing.

Then my mom piped up, “You should have hit it over the head with a tire iron.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Or a rock. That would work, too.”

“Mom, can you honestly say that you would hit a deer over the head with a blunt object, even if it was suffering? Dad, is she serious?”

“I wouldn’t do it, but I’m just saying. A tire iron would get the job done.”

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Today is the day we’ve all been waiting for — FREE SLURPEE DAY! Really, it is. What better way to celebrate 7-11?

It was tough to choose my best birthday of all time, especially since one of my top requirements for birthdays is being surrounded by loved ones and eating cake. Lucky for me, this pretty much happens every year, so I guess every birthday is my favorite in one way or another. (Except the year my boyfriend broke up with me on my birthday. Maybe next year I’ll do a top five WORST birthdays countdown).

- Age: 25
- Guests: Becky and Chris (plus a brief overnight stay in Baltimore with the AMAZING Jacksons)
- Events: Not only did we travel to New York City, we stayed in the Dream Hautel Couture (next door to P-Diddy’s record label), saw Wicked on Broadway (for which I HAD TO buy an emerald green dress), shopped on Fifth Avenue, played tourist and visited the Guggenheim Museum.
- Food: We consumed all of the New York favorites (okay, not all — we were only there for a long weekend), including cheesecake and pizza!
- Most memorable moment: First of all, I have always dreamed of going to New York City. And up until this time, I’d been obsessed with Wicked for two years (thank you Tony Awards). Chris is a rockstar and scored us tickets in the fifth row of the theatre, too. So there was a moment in the middle of the show where the music builds to a dramatic cresendo and I was five rows from the stage, in a designer dress, with my amazing husband, in New York City on Broadway. I was overwhelmed with joy as a few tears streaked my cheeks. If Oprah was describing it, she’d probably call it an “ah ha” moment, but I’d say it was just WONDERFUL!
- Why it’s a favorite: Everything about that birthday was perfect. We even drove up to the city on my birthday and my phone kept ringing off the hook with birthday well-wishers. That made it special too!

Where would you go and what would you do for your dream birthday?

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Don’t you hate when people tell you about their “amazing,” “relaxing” and “exotic” vacations? As if their sparkling tan wasn’t a big enough slap in the face!

Worse yet is when people post glorious, smiling pictures of the aforementioned vacation on their blogs.

It stings.

I try not to sting people with travel tales, so I hope you’ll forgive me for this teensy, tiny, indulgent vacay report.

We didn’t sun on the beach or relax at a spa, but Chris’ law firm recently spoiled us with a trip to Park City, Utah. (I know, right?)
And even if you now hate me for blagging (blog bragging), you can’t deny that summer in the mountains is amazingly gorgeous.
Besides seeing a few friends and ingesting way too many calories, a trip highlight was riding the Alpine Coaster — literally a roller coaster on the ski mountain.
As we were being towed up the mountain, I turned the camera around to capture the moment (okay, fine. I really just wanted to blog about it later).

Here’s Chris, playing along.
Here’s Chris telling me I’m going to drop the camera and me pleading for one more decent shot.
Here’s ticked off Chris, sighing exasperatedly.
Oh and see the zip line overhead — we rode that too! I think I’m officially over my no-roller-coaster-riding phase.
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Everyone has their own unique talent- something that they are really good at. What’s my talent? I think that my parent’s explanation of mine and my sisters’ talents illustrates it best. I heard my mom explain to some people at a party once about her 3 girls. She started off with my youngest sister, Sarah who is the dancer of the family- a cheerleader in high school and graduated with a degree in dance education. Next, Cynthia is the singer and actress of the family- she has majored in vocal performance and is currently acting in musicals in L.A. Finally, Cheryl whose talent is going to school and traveling. Yup, TRAVELING is my talent. And I have to say that I LOVE it. Europe is definitely the place outside the U.S. that I have been the most- 8 times. I LOVED living in Boston for 5 years in that I was NEVER bored and continually traveled around Boston and the New England area. My friend Dan and I have been travel buddies for a long time- we have thought about opening up a travel agency together where I plan the itineraries and Dan makes the logistics work (plane tickets, hotels, trains, etc). This is kind of my other dream- I think that it would be amazing to be like Rick Steves- that man knows Europe and has lead me to so many wonderful places. His guidebook, Mona Winks, which provides the highlights and details surrounding the most important works of art in the museums of Europe has been such an enhancement to my trip. My fellow travelers and I have bonded so much with this travel guru that we refer to him as “Rick” and say “Let’s see what Rick has to say about it” and if Rick recommends it, we generally go.

Following his model, I have to admit that I really LOVE to put together itineraries for my family and friends who visited Boston. I made sure that they got to see all of the major sites that they wanted- with a few recommendations from me- and jam packed their days full of sightseeing. And the best was being able to show them the city that I love so much. That being said, my friend here in Cali, Inger, asked me if I had any recommendations for her since she is going to Boston in a few weeks. Needless to say, I pulled out all of my materials and I know that I overwhelmed her with suggestions. We met up for lunch today and discussed many of the different options and it brought back a longing for me to be able to show her around Boston too. But, that won’t be happening, BUT I will very happily be back in Boston at the end of July-beginning of August for some national sociology conferences. How perfect that they are back in the city that I love so that I can try to finish up a few loose ends that I wasn’t able to do.

I am nowhere near as familiar with San Francisco and the surrounding Bay area as I was with Boston, but I am working on it. Thus, I don’t quite have my tour list of highlights made up yet for when people come to visit so please come and visit us so that I can start to better think about it!

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